I don’t know about you but as soon as certain key dates in my life start getting closer and closer, I often find myself undergoing long periods of meditation, introspection, and self-reflection. As such, and as my 27th birthday approaches, I’ve been heavily contemplating the notion of finding happiness within.
Let’s be frank here, we’ve all struggled with the concept of tapping into our inner joy at various points in our lives. I get it. It’s easy to wallow in our own sh*t, it’s easy to take pity on ourselves, and it’s incredibly easy to make up hundreds of excuses to not have to face what’s actually going on inside of us. Yes, it’s like I’m holding up a mirror right in front of you right now, isn’t it?
But you see, there comes a time where the “easy way out” doesn’t cut it for us anymore. Only then we begin to realize how compulsive negative thought patterns, hamster wheeling over our insecurities, and prolonged periods of inaction are getting us absolutely nowhere. So… Where do we go from here? We seek within.
Enough with the BS
Let’s face it, societal norms
might have conditioned us to lead perpetually unsatisfied lives. But do we really have to keep riding this pathetic pony for the rest of our existence? Though I trust you already know the answer to this, let me give you a refresher.
As we grow older, we are driven to believe we need A, B, C, X, Y, and Z to be happy. Rings a bell? Then one day, after arduously busting our tits and balls off attempting to achieve these wondrous things–which we swear will be the end-all of our sorrows–we hit a rock-solid wall called 'Reality'.
Here’s what happens, we’ve worked hard, we’ve trained, and we’ve prepared ourselves for every possible outcome. After giving it our all, we were only able to attain Y and Z from the “external things which will eventually make us happier” checklist.
For a second there, we were able to experience a momentary, yet exhilarating, rush of satisfaction. For a second, we felt happier and more accomplished. For a second, this was it! For a fleeting second… and now it’s gone; the joy only lasted a little while.
My friends, enough with the BS. May THIS be our wake-up call.
The Answer Has Been Within You All Along
Truth be told, genuine happiness cannot be obtained from external resources. It doesn’t work like that. Genuine happiness comes from resolving our inner conflicts and personal resistance; it stems from a place where we are satisfied with who we are, where we’re going, and what we’re doing to get there.
This is why we should invest more of our vital energy in getting ourselves to a place where we’re able to cut lose from inner resistance patterns. How? By actively practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness.
In turn, we’ll also learn how to love ourselves unconditionally, thus bringing us to this natural state of joy we've been incessantly seeking. Let me emphasize this again, everything we need to achieve this natural state of happiness lies within us.
A Step-By-Step Guide Towards Finding Happiness Within
Make a List
Take a moment to be fully and completely honest with yourself. Jot down every aspect of yourself you are content with and list all areas you wish to improve upon (i.e. self-love, self-confidence, patience, etc.) Acknowledge your attributes and outline a plan on how you’ll work to amend those areas of opportunity.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means surrendering any attachment you may have to a particular outcome or situation. Show up every day with the intention to be your best self and to do the best you know, without expecting life to go a certain way. Continue to work towards your goals, follow your dreams, and take purposeful action, but detach from what life must look like. I promise it will surprise you in the best of ways.
Be a Friend to Yourself
Your relationship with yourself is the only relationship you’ll ever have which will last your entire life. You can either be your greatest friend or your worst enemy. Start by celebrating your wins, learning from your faults, and following what deep in your heart feels right.
Allow Yourself to Feel Everything
When feeling lost, unhappy, or deeply frustrated, it’s easy to repress your emotions as they may feel quite overwhelming. If you can manage to find a moment in your day to really honor what you’re feeling, I guarantee it will bring you closer to the inner joy which stems from self-acceptance. Giving yourself this space will enable you to grow and heal exponentially. Trust me on this.
Have you noticed how often we take what's working in our favor for granted? It’s easy to focus on the negative but what about everything else we’ve got going on for ourselves? Make practicing gratitude a daily habit. Notice and acknowledge your blessings, and remember to enjoy the little things in life which make it all worth it.
If anything on this post has resonated with you in any way, feel free to reach out by commenting below or shooting me an email. As per usual, outfit details have been highlighted below and I wish to leave you all with this:
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” - Frederick Keonig