Looking back to my trip to Puerto Rico, I noticed the “settling down” bug had taken a few of my 20-something friends, and acquaintances, by their ring fingers; not to mention the ones who'd already been sporting their baby bumps and pictures with their kids all over social media for quite some time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for all of you who've been lucky enough to find true love and someone willing to commit to a long-term relationship. Because left and right I keep seeing people wanting to have the benefits of being with someone, without the responsibility of making things ‘official’ or ‘exclusive’, and where casually hooking up with multiple partners has somewhat become the norm around millennials.
If you do the math, these behaviors will continue to promote this culture of emotional detachment and fear of commitment. So if you've found The One, have recently gotten engaged or tied the knot, I wish you all the very best on this one of a kind journey! But as for me, I don't feel like I'm quite there yet (and not because I don't want to.)
Within the spectrum of the millennial mentality, you tend to encounter individuals who fall within the following extremes:
- Those who are compulsively swiping left and right on their dating apps and who'll revolt at the slightest sign of having someone mention the word commitment.
- Those who're proudly jotting down their vows, which for better or worse, in sickness and in health, will be bound to keep to their significant others.
- And then there’s me, unapologetically checking the none of the above box.
I've been on both ends of the spectrum, dating and swiping, swiping and dating, and I've also had the chance to meet one or two unique characters in my life who at one point or another had me thinking about forever. But as for right now, I'm focusing on myself; I'm living in one of the most amazing cities in the world, seizing every single opportunity to succeed, and I feel great about it!
At the end of the day, life is about the choices we make. Some of us have chosen to work more on our relationships with ourselves, on finding our way, our voice, and on discovering new talents/achieving new things we'd never imagine being capable of. And we're perfectly fine doing this on our own!
“But don't you get lonely?” someone might ask.
I don’t. I'm far from it! I recognize I have the best relationship with myself I've ever had, I'm extremely proud of the amazing relationships I've been able to cultivate with my close friends and of the wonderful bond I share with my family.
When I put this in perspective, I realize I've been blessed with a life filled with love from these amazing people. So, how could I ever feel lonely? How could I ever feel discontent? Why do people put so much weight on romantic love and dismiss the fact that there are other types of love which can fulfill our lives? Isn’t the meaning of unconditional love “affection without any limitations?” Because I have tons of it in my life.
I also like to test the boundaries of my independence. I enjoy pushing my limits and seeing how far I can get today, and how far will I get tomorrow; what else can I learn about my character? What does it say about my resilience, my capabilities, and my persona? And the more I grasp about myself, the more I understand the type of love I have to give and the type of experiences I want to share with others.
Maybe someday I'll meet someone incredible. Maybe someday that incredible someone will be eager to join me on my life adventures. Maybe then I'll be so sure about that someone, I'll want to get bitten by the “settling down” bug, instead of running away from it. But as for now, I am in no hurry, and nobody else should be! When it comes to love, it shouldn't be forced nor pressured. Love should come about naturally. As simple as that. In the meantime, we should all embrace and enjoy the journey.
Until next time,